The Summer of Love...

I am sitting here on the shore of Lake Tahoe and I know I am living an incredible life.  This summer has been the season of dreams come true and I am more grateful than I could ever sufficiently express in words.

In the past few months I have reconnected with old friends and made new ones.  I have watched my children find magic in every new experience they came in contact with.  I have spent time with family I don’t often get to see.  I have seen Mother Nature in her most glorious and breathed and swam and dreamt in Her midst.

Early in the summer my friend, Michel, sent me a horoscope.  It said that in the middle of August I would experience romance and love in a very powerful way.  Not knowing what sort of love would ensue, I looked forward to what was to be.  Sitting here on the beach waiting for my sons and my nephew to return from a fishing expedition with our new friend John, I now realize the meaning of the zodiac message.

I am in love with my children in a way I never knew I could love.  I am mystified by their courage, creativity, curiosity, love and sense of adventure.  I love their ability to adapt and how they embrace any and all opportunity for new experiences.  When I pray, they are and will forever be my first and last thank you.

I love my siblings and their families.  This summer I have had the opportunity to spend time with each of my four siblings who I adore. 

My sister, Courtney has lived with us for the past year and I am so grateful for the time to know and love and understand her on a day-to-day basis.  She is the most capable and competent human being I know.  As she begins her new journey I look forward to accompanying her if only from afar. 

I was able to spend a brief amount of time with my brother Brad and his family.  I don’t get enough time with them, and I am grateful for every minute. 

My brother Bruce and his family took an RV trip from Denver to San Francisco.  It is a trip he has dreamt of for years and as I listened to their adventures, I know that he too had many dreams come true in the past few months. 

One wish I have had for years was for Bruce, his wife Heather and their four amazing children and my family to spend time with my sister Kelli and her family in Kelli’s in-laws vineyard, Stone Tree, in Sonoma.  I had no idea how this would ever come to fruition, but my brother cut his trip short by a day or two and we were able to share three glorious days together with Kelli’s mother and father-in-law, drinking wine, exploring their cave, visiting lavender fields, and creating mutual forever memories…   I can’t begin to express my appreciation to Bruce and his family for this opportunity.  

My sister Kelli left for the West Coast right after college graduation.  For a while I believed she would return to our East Coast roots, but as her life grew and developed into the beautiful existence it is now, I knew we would never again be geographically close.  She and her husband, Charlie, their son Matthew and daughter Ashley spend time hiking, skiing, harvesting grapes and fishing in the midst of magnificent beauty.  I love her dearly and I love that she has created such a glorious life for herself. 

I love the fact that I had the opportunity to include her son Matthew in our stay in Tahoe.  It is one thing to share holidays, another to spend time with all family members together, but being able to spend a week with a child alone gives you a much different, deeper and more real idea on who they are. 

This summer in Tahoe, I fell in love with my nephew Matthew on a whole different level.  He is a remarkable, intelligent, beautiful, life embracing, adaptable, passionate young man who has the sensitivity of a much older soul.  I have watched him jump off cliffs that terrified him, fit in with four overbearing cousins, show grace toward his younger cousin, and find the same magic we all did in all our adventures. 

Matthew is a fisherman.  He has surreal patience and listens to the Universe around him like a fisherman must.  He wakes up early and embraces every opportunity he can to pursue his love.  Matthew, you have taught me many lessons this summer.  Thank you.  I love you.

As I write this I am reminded of how I have been intrigued by the concept of two worlds colliding or meeting.  Shorelines where water and land meet, fog settling on the lake, etc.  As I sit here on the beach looking across the most enchanting body of water I have ever experienced with the tiny waves lapping at my feet and the fog in the distance, I am reminded of the line… “On Earth as it is in Heaven”.  I am in love with Tahoe. I am in love with the water, the mountains, the stars at night, the people, the charm and the peace I find here.  Years ago I visited this place and I can remember saying, I can’t wait to bring my children here to experience this grandeur.  Here we are and not one detail has escaped the young eyes accompanying me.  Yet another dream come true.

So, as this summer of love, of fulfilled dreams, of magic, of lessons learned and lessons yet to learn winds down, it comes to me like an epiphany what my horoscope meant.  I would fall in love with my life in a new and even more profound way and for this my gratitude is measureless.  What more magnificent gift is there?  Perhaps only my wish and dream that many others were able to do the same….

When you come to the crossroad, may you always choose love.

xoxoxox

It's All About the Lesson...

So many things happen each day and many times the details of an event are insignificant, but still therein lies a lesson that needs attention.  


A few weeks ago I went on a school trip with my eleven year old daughter.  I was one of two cabin leaders in our cabin with 16, sixth grade girls.  It was about 100 degrees and we were in a wonderful old structure that smelled of pine, camp fires and nature.  The girls were told that during their 2 night, 3 day stay they would be involved in a series of competitions between all 10 cabins.  


When we arrived, the first mission was to create a unity flag.  This flag should include the name they chose for the cabin and it should be decorated in a way consistent with our theme, which was Hawaiian Luau.  The group of girls sharing the tight space were quite diverse.  When they sat down to begin their flag decoration, I was delighted to see how beautifully they worked together.  Because our cabin was said to be haunted, they called themselves the Haunted Hula Girls.  The girls attached flowers, wrote each of their names, drew designs and then put the flag on a huge limb and adorned the staff with neon pink duct tape.  It was gorgeous, and it was created by all the girls together as a group.  They won the unity flag competition.


Then came the scavenger hunt.  Each cabin received clues as to where to find items that were hidden for their specific cabin.  The Haunted Hula Girls were incredible.  They all worked together and not only won the competition, but they were actually the only ones penalized, twice, for running (although all the children were running) and then had to find one of the objects in the woods because another group had thrown it to hide it.  It was wonderful to see the faces of the girls completely engaged and their adrenaline pumping.  If the lesson was to try your best and work together, the Haunted team got highest marks.  There was another competition that evening that I can't even remember, but I do know that they had now won every event and the girls were on a roll.


The next morning the teachers judged the cleanest cabin and cabin decoration.  The girls woke up, organized, swept and cleaned.  Our decorations probably placed a strong second or third and we went into the dining hall to see how they had done.  The teachers were sitting around the board waiting for us to arrive.  I looked and realized they had given them a zero for both challenges.  Zeroes.  I looked at them and they found the whole thing humorous and  proceeded to tell me that they had to make it even so they were penalizing them.


Well, when the girls found out what was going on, they lost focus.  They started antagonizing one another and getting petty.  The fun, the goal, the desire to work as a team had fizzled because they were not being fairly judged.  In the end, we lost by a few points to a boys cabin who had gotten zeroes on the first three challenges.


This whole scenario has been bothering me for a few weeks now.  It is beyond my comprehension that teachers would do such a thing to stymie anyone, yet alone 11 year old girls who were trying their best and excelling.  I don't  care if it is a scavenger hunt, or the National Spelling Bee,  taking away the ability and the possibility for anyone to be their best is wrong and against the grain of what we are all about, especially our children.


We have No Child Left Behind, which pretty much leaves all the overachievers behind, we have cuts to gifted and talented programs, and we have taken competition away on so many fronts in order that no one has to be a "loser".  Well, doesn't that make everyone a loser?  The winners are handicapped and the weaker no longer have to work as hard knowing the playing field will be leveled before the finish line.  I remember reading Atlas Shrugged and thinking how I abhorred the movement toward mediocrity.  That feeling came to mind on this trip.  


I know I am making this seemingly small event into a larger one,  but this behavior struck a nerve.  This trip was the most incredible compilation of lessons ranging from Pond Ecology where girls who have never walked barefoot before were in the lake mucking around amongst the turtles and snakes, to team building exercises.  It was an incredible opportunity for girls and boys to work together, to unite, and try to do their best in the challenges given them.  


I think the teachers, in their attempt to even the playing field and make everyone equal, taught the worst lesson of all.  "Girls, don't strive for excellence in what you do or you will be handicapped later on.  You will become a target of injustice by the same people you trust to launch you forward."


I know the teachers weren't trying to harm the children, but if there is going to be a competition, let it be fair, and in the event some get left behind, try and raise them to the higher level.  Just please, never, bring the top ones down.  


Therein lies the lesson.

Choose to fly...

As an ego-driven young woman, I felt as though life "happened to me".  I was at its mercy.  Whether I was in a relationship, got a job offer, looked and felt my best or ultimately if I was happy, was all a result of whether I deserved it. In some way I felt as though the Universe was some dreadful, judgemental force and I was constantly being evaluated.   As a top tennis player, that was probably the cause of my intense temper.  I believed on some level that if I was not playing well, or God forbid, I lost, it was a reflection of whether I was deserving.  Thus, tennis became a microcosm of my existence.  Ha!  No pressure there!  I was a rebellious, angry teenager whose parents had just split and as I walked on the court I believed with all my heart and soul that if I played poorly it was because I wasn't worthy.  


This belief system continued into my forties.  My anger and rage at myself continued as I played tennis and paddle tennis pregnant, exhausted with newborns, and as I raised four young children.  I was always my harshest critic.


The idea of choice did not enter my life until  I was around 43.  One day I was at the park with my youngest son Tyler, and  I was in the midst of making the decision to leave my marriage of 13 years.  The sun was shining and he was playing happily on the playground.  As I sat watching him I felt a calm and a peace that I had not felt before.  I was not driven to speak to the other moms, I wasn't reading a book or on the phone.  In the midst of my emotional storm, I was sitting and feeling the beauty of the moment.  That was the beginning of my new journey, my new path and the discovery of the new Kimberly.  It was the first day of a love affair... with myself.  I chose to find peace and be happy by just being me.


Every time I learn something new about Thomas Jefferson I am awestruck by his brilliance and enlightenment.  Think about it, when he wrote the Declaration of Independence life was a matter of survival.  The political upheaval that was going on as our country was being created was not exactly the most suitable environment for spiritual, evolved thinking.  Yet, Jefferson wrote:


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.


These words pretty much sum up the bulk of spiritual lessons on love, peace, happiness, free will and joy.  Now, the rest is in our hands...  We need to make a choice to pursue happiness.  


On the back of all my tags for my Fly line of clothing, www.choosetofly.com, I write, "When you come to the crossroad, may you choose love."  I believe there are two ways to live.  We can lead with aggression and anger, as I did for years, or we can lead with love and kindness.  It is a choice, then a habit, then, in time, it will become who we are.  


I also frequently use the same line and close with, "may you choose happiness".  Again, the foundation was laid years ago by our founding fathers.  Our right to happiness is documented.  That will not mandate joy, however.  We have to choose happiness make it a habit, and then in time it too will become who we are.  


I continue to find myself dropping the ball on occasion.  When I see malice or ignorance I often react quickly with judgement and aggression.  The difference is now I recognize what I've done and consider it yet another lesson on this wonderful journey to becoming the best I can be.  I will apologize and admit my wrongdoing because I have made the choice to no longer live my life as judgemental or unworthy, but as an evolving, aware, woman whom I happen to love very much. 


Do you know that feeling you have when you are doing what you are here to do?  When success comes easily without friction or obstacles?  In tennis we called it "being in the zone".  Well, I have come to equate that feeling with flying.  Watching birds soar and go where their hearts lead is why I named our clothing line "Fly".  Again, I make reference to choice when we named the website, www.choosetofly.com. 


The next time someone is unkind to you, smile and say something nice to them.  The next time the sun sets and the sky lights up in the most spectacular colors take a minute to  appreciate how it has brought you joy.   The decision to do this is yours.


All the tools needed to be the best we can be are inside us.  We are all worthy and deserving of amazing lives.  We have the talent, creativity, and potential to be who we dream of being.  Everything and anything is possible.  Close your eyes, see yourself living in love, happiness and... 

choose to fly.

xoxoxo

Thank you....

Two of the most empowering and powerful words I believe are "Thank you".  I, like many, have had issues to resolve during my life.  Anger, angst, rebellion and frustration are some of the emotions  which have tormented me.  In the past few years, a common thread in the teachings I have read is the importance of gratitude.


As a younger woman I would sometimes be consumed by what I didn't have and the pressure to attain it.  Whether it was a higher tennis ranking, better grades, more money, etc. I was driven to madness believing if I just had more or did more, then I would be rewarded with happiness.  Well, when the student is ready the teacher will appear.  It isn't the money I might earn that brings me joy but creating my company, www.choosetofly.com, that I love.  It's not the car that makes me smile, but the fact that it is safe in the event my family and I need protection.  It isn't the size of our home but the love that fills it to the roof that makes it magical.  My children's grades don't even concern me as much as whether or not they are trying their best.  In short, I am finding such joy from having what I have and not being anxious for what I don't possess.  This new way of thinking and living has brought me peace.


Just last night a friend asked me how I transitioned from a very aggressive, angry, competitive woman to one that spends time sitting on the porch writing blogs with a smile.  I think it's because of these two very important words.


My 8 year old son, Tyler, often says grace.  He always begins and ends with "thank you".  He has the presence of mind to thank God and the Universe for any guests who are joining us, our meal, the day, his parents, siblings, and anything else that crosses his mind.  It warms my heart that he understands the power of appreciation at such a young age.


When I sense negativity trying to work its way into my soul I have a new trick that I do to  readjust.  I close my eyes and start saying my "thank you's".  By the time I am done I feel realigned and I always find a smile on my face.  I don't ask for anything but I say "thank you" as though it has already manifest.  It is a very powerful way for me to visualize my dreams and goals.


Try it.  Close your eyes now and thank God and the Universe for all your blessings.  Then, if there are things you wish for, say your thank you's for them as well.  You cannot say thank you for something you can't visualize and you can't manifest something if you can't visualize it, so try it and let me know what happens.


I will close this with an example of one of my thank you's:


Thank you for my children.  Thank you for my friends, family and loved ones.  Thank you for our (because I am one of my loved ones) health, safety and protection.  Thank you for our light, our love and the peace in our hearts.  Thank you for our compassion.  Thank you for our ability to adapt to new circumstances.  Thank you for our gifts and talents.  Thank you for the beauty in the world.  Thank you for the ability to help others.  Thank you for each glorious day and the opportunity to go to sleep each night a little better somehow than when we woke up.  Thank you for joy.


When you come to the crossroad, may you choose happiness and fly...


xoxoxoxoxox

The whisper of possibility...

As a child and young adult I thought many things occurred by coincidence.  As I grow, I now believe it is something much bigger than that.  


When someone, something or an idea cross my path repeatedly I smile and think to myself, "You are supposed to be picking up on something here.  This is a message and as of yet you have not seen what is before your face."  This happens all the time.  Whether it's an investment, planting sod, buying a car or getting a new haircut, the idea will often enter my world repeatedly before I finally take action.


Recently this has been happening with astounding regularity with the website, The Daily Love, www.thedailylove.com.  My good friend brought it to my attention a few months ago and I am now a huge fan.  Mastin Kipp, a brilliant thinker and writer,  founded the site and on some level we must be living parallel lives.  So often I will have an issue brewing in my head and the next day I will read his thoughts on the exact same topic.  Coincidence?    


I wrote the first blog of my life last week.  I made several references to my belief that the Universe conspires for our success, our job is to allow it to happen and work hard.  That notion was crystalized for me when I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, an incredibly inspired author.  The next morning when I got up and clicked on The Daily Love, I had to laugh.  Mastin wrote of  The Alchemist:


One of my favorite lines from this book is “When you REALLY want something The Uni-verse will conspire to bring it to you.”


My point here being when there is something in my life that is begging to manifest, like my clothing line, Fly, www.choosetofly.com, there are signs that appear and nudge me long before it becomes a reality.  Before I began writing this blog I was sent to Mastin's site, several other blogging conversations came up during the month and then my Techno-Angel, Paula Cho www.fromeveryone.com was sitting at my kitchen table and said, "So you want to set up your blog today?" Messages come to us all the time nudging us forward and working for our best good.


If you believe that the Universe is conspiring for your success, it is important to keep your mind and heart peaceful and attentive.  So often the signs and messages are subtle and quiet, almost a whisper, and if we are distracted it is very easy to miss them.  Once we are tuned in, however, anything is possible.  The opportunities are endless and know no bounds.


Today, listen to what the Universe is bringing to you.  If it is something that makes your life and the lives around you better, consider taking the next step.  


When we come to the crossroads in our lives, may we always choose love.


xoxoxo


Kimberly

Close your eyes and leap...

This is the first blog I have ever written.  Talk about teaching old dogs new tricks.


I've written letters, newsletters, PR pieces, stories, etc., but never a blog.  Historically, each time I created something I had specific intent.  I was asking for something, thanking someone for something, but a blog is different.  To me it is like therapy.  It is a gift and a luxury to actually put your thoughts out into the Universe for no other reason than to crystalize them and maybe share them with others who wish to read them.  


One of the things on my Bucket List is to write a book about the year my children and I shared in 2010.  I thought about a potential title for the book and ultimately chose, On a Wing and a Prayer.  Well, my novel-writing days are not in my immediate future so I decided to use the name for this blog.  I love the phrase for a myriad of reasons.  First, this economic environment has forced many of us to live creatively.  For example, in December of 2009 I was sitting at my computer thinking how I would love to bring my four children on an adventure of a lifetime, but I was completely overextended without any reprieve in sight.  So, I did what any newly divorced, scared, broke, mother of four young children would do, I googled, "swapping homes in Europe", and the most incredible trip we have gone on thus far was conceived.  With the assistance of www.homexchangevacation.com we ended up spending the month of August, 2010 exchanging homes all over Europe, meeting incredible people, making new friends, seeing magnificent sights and somehow it all came together...  on a wing and a prayer.


At the time I wanted to create an inspirational clothing line, but was confronted with the same financial pressures and I had to wait until I was back on my feet.   While we were staying at one of our exchange homes about an hour north of Barcelona, I received news that someone finally wanted to buy a house I had listed to sell 18 months earlier.  That sale, in time, allowed me to create my clothing line, Fly (www.choosetofly.com).  Again it all came together on a wing and a prayer.  


"Fly" and "on a wing and a prayer" are very interrelated.  To me they represent not only the creativity in making things work, but also the faith that the Universe is conspiring for our success and when we tap into that trust, anything and everything is possible.


I find it amusing that I spent the majority of my life battling people, situations and the Universe.  I always thought I had the answer and that it was just a matter of time and effort before my will would be victorious.  I have no regrets, but I sometimes wish I was a bit more enlightened back then.  It would have saved a lot of angst.  The concept of faith and underlying belief was not part of my everyday life growing up.  My brother Bruce, however, has always been in the flow.  He is incredibly intelligent, works very hard and without having the spiritual or religious vocabulary he allows good things to happen innately.  He is a sight to behold and I have learned many lessons from him during my journey.


So, I am looking forward to blogging my thoughts, experiences, etc., and see where this new, more enlightened path leads. There are so many wonderful events occurring each day, so many kind people, so many lessons, my gift to myself will be to witness and then write about them.  If you enjoy reading what I have to say I'd love it if you would join me.


My wish for us is when we come to a crossroad, may we choose love.


xoxoxo


Kimberly

Choose Love

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