As an ego-driven young woman, I felt as though life "happened to me". I was at its mercy. Whether I was in a relationship, got a job offer, looked and felt my best or ultimately if I was happy, was all a result of whether I deserved it. In some way I felt as though the Universe was some dreadful, judgemental force and I was constantly being evaluated. As a top tennis player, that was probably the cause of my intense temper. I believed on some level that if I was not playing well, or God forbid, I lost, it was a reflection of whether I was deserving. Thus, tennis became a microcosm of my existence. Ha! No pressure there! I was a rebellious, angry teenager whose parents had just split and as I walked on the court I believed with all my heart and soul that if I played poorly it was because I wasn't worthy.
This belief system continued into my forties. My anger and rage at myself continued as I played tennis and paddle tennis pregnant, exhausted with newborns, and as I raised four young children. I was always my harshest critic.
The idea of choice did not enter my life until I was around 43. One day I was at the park with my youngest son Tyler, and I was in the midst of making the decision to leave my marriage of 13 years. The sun was shining and he was playing happily on the playground. As I sat watching him I felt a calm and a peace that I had not felt before. I was not driven to speak to the other moms, I wasn't reading a book or on the phone. In the midst of my emotional storm, I was sitting and feeling the beauty of the moment. That was the beginning of my new journey, my new path and the discovery of the new Kimberly. It was the first day of a love affair... with myself. I chose to find peace and be happy by just being me.
Every time I learn something new about Thomas Jefferson I am awestruck by his brilliance and enlightenment. Think about it, when he wrote the Declaration of Independence life was a matter of survival. The political upheaval that was going on as our country was being created was not exactly the most suitable environment for spiritual, evolved thinking. Yet, Jefferson wrote:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
These words pretty much sum up the bulk of spiritual lessons on love, peace, happiness, free will and joy. Now, the rest is in our hands... We need to make a choice to pursue happiness.
On the back of all my tags for my Fly line of clothing, www.choosetofly.com, I write, "When you come to the crossroad, may you choose love." I believe there are two ways to live. We can lead with aggression and anger, as I did for years, or we can lead with love and kindness. It is a choice, then a habit, then, in time, it will become who we are.
I also frequently use the same line and close with, "may you choose happiness". Again, the foundation was laid years ago by our founding fathers. Our right to happiness is documented. That will not mandate joy, however. We have to choose happiness make it a habit, and then in time it too will become who we are.
I continue to find myself dropping the ball on occasion. When I see malice or ignorance I often react quickly with judgement and aggression. The difference is now I recognize what I've done and consider it yet another lesson on this wonderful journey to becoming the best I can be. I will apologize and admit my wrongdoing because I have made the choice to no longer live my life as judgemental or unworthy, but as an evolving, aware, woman whom I happen to love very much.
Do you know that feeling you have when you are doing what you are here to do? When success comes easily without friction or obstacles? In tennis we called it "being in the zone". Well, I have come to equate that feeling with flying. Watching birds soar and go where their hearts lead is why I named our clothing line "Fly". Again, I make reference to choice when we named the website, www.choosetofly.com.
The next time someone is unkind to you, smile and say something nice to them. The next time the sun sets and the sky lights up in the most spectacular colors take a minute to appreciate how it has brought you joy. The decision to do this is yours.
All the tools needed to be the best we can be are inside us. We are all worthy and deserving of amazing lives. We have the talent, creativity, and potential to be who we dream of being. Everything and anything is possible. Close your eyes, see yourself living in love, happiness and...
choose to fly.
xoxoxo
Two of the most empowering and powerful words I believe are "Thank you". I, like many, have had issues to resolve during my life. Anger, angst, rebellion and frustration are some of the emotions which have tormented me. In the past few years, a common thread in the teachings I have read is the importance of gratitude.
As a younger woman I would sometimes be consumed by what I didn't have and the pressure to attain it. Whether it was a higher tennis ranking, better grades, more money, etc. I was driven to madness believing if I just had more or did more, then I would be rewarded with happiness. Well, when the student is ready the teacher will appear. It isn't the money I might earn that brings me joy but creating my company, www.choosetofly.com, that I love. It's not the car that makes me smile, but the fact that it is safe in the event my family and I need protection. It isn't the size of our home but the love that fills it to the roof that makes it magical. My children's grades don't even concern me as much as whether or not they are trying their best. In short, I am finding such joy from having what I have and not being anxious for what I don't possess. This new way of thinking and living has brought me peace.
Just last night a friend asked me how I transitioned from a very aggressive, angry, competitive woman to one that spends time sitting on the porch writing blogs with a smile. I think it's because of these two very important words.
My 8 year old son, Tyler, often says grace. He always begins and ends with "thank you". He has the presence of mind to thank God and the Universe for any guests who are joining us, our meal, the day, his parents, siblings, and anything else that crosses his mind. It warms my heart that he understands the power of appreciation at such a young age.
When I sense negativity trying to work its way into my soul I have a new trick that I do to readjust. I close my eyes and start saying my "thank you's". By the time I am done I feel realigned and I always find a smile on my face. I don't ask for anything but I say "thank you" as though it has already manifest. It is a very powerful way for me to visualize my dreams and goals.
Try it. Close your eyes now and thank God and the Universe for all your blessings. Then, if there are things you wish for, say your thank you's for them as well. You cannot say thank you for something you can't visualize and you can't manifest something if you can't visualize it, so try it and let me know what happens.
I will close this with an example of one of my thank you's:
Thank you for my children. Thank you for my friends, family and loved ones. Thank you for our (because I am one of my loved ones) health, safety and protection. Thank you for our light, our love and the peace in our hearts. Thank you for our compassion. Thank you for our ability to adapt to new circumstances. Thank you for our gifts and talents. Thank you for the beauty in the world. Thank you for the ability to help others. Thank you for each glorious day and the opportunity to go to sleep each night a little better somehow than when we woke up. Thank you for joy.
When you come to the crossroad, may you choose happiness and fly...
xoxoxoxoxox
As a child and young adult I thought many things occurred by coincidence. As I grow, I now believe it is something much bigger than that.
When someone, something or an idea cross my path repeatedly I smile and think to myself, "You are supposed to be picking up on something here. This is a message and as of yet you have not seen what is before your face." This happens all the time. Whether it's an investment, planting sod, buying a car or getting a new haircut, the idea will often enter my world repeatedly before I finally take action.
Recently this has been happening with astounding regularity with the website, The Daily Love, www.thedailylove.com. My good friend brought it to my attention a few months ago and I am now a huge fan. Mastin Kipp, a brilliant thinker and writer, founded the site and on some level we must be living parallel lives. So often I will have an issue brewing in my head and the next day I will read his thoughts on the exact same topic. Coincidence?
I wrote the first blog of my life last week. I made several references to my belief that the Universe conspires for our success, our job is to allow it to happen and work hard. That notion was crystalized for me when I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo, an incredibly inspired author. The next morning when I got up and clicked on The Daily Love, I had to laugh. Mastin wrote of The Alchemist:
One of my favorite lines from this book is “When you REALLY want something The Uni-verse will conspire to bring it to you.”
My point here being when there is something in my life that is begging to manifest, like my clothing line, Fly, www.choosetofly.com, there are signs that appear and nudge me long before it becomes a reality. Before I began writing this blog I was sent to Mastin's site, several other blogging conversations came up during the month and then my Techno-Angel, Paula Cho www.fromeveryone.com was sitting at my kitchen table and said, "So you want to set up your blog today?" Messages come to us all the time nudging us forward and working for our best good.
If you believe that the Universe is conspiring for your success, it is important to keep your mind and heart peaceful and attentive. So often the signs and messages are subtle and quiet, almost a whisper, and if we are distracted it is very easy to miss them. Once we are tuned in, however, anything is possible. The opportunities are endless and know no bounds.
Today, listen to what the Universe is bringing to you. If it is something that makes your life and the lives around you better, consider taking the next step.
When we come to the crossroads in our lives, may we always choose love.
xoxoxo
Kimberly
