Choose to fly...

As an ego-driven young woman, I felt as though life "happened to me".  I was at its mercy.  Whether I was in a relationship, got a job offer, looked and felt my best or ultimately if I was happy, was all a result of whether I deserved it. In some way I felt as though the Universe was some dreadful, judgemental force and I was constantly being evaluated.   As a top tennis player, that was probably the cause of my intense temper.  I believed on some level that if I was not playing well, or God forbid, I lost, it was a reflection of whether I was deserving.  Thus, tennis became a microcosm of my existence.  Ha!  No pressure there!  I was a rebellious, angry teenager whose parents had just split and as I walked on the court I believed with all my heart and soul that if I played poorly it was because I wasn't worthy.  


This belief system continued into my forties.  My anger and rage at myself continued as I played tennis and paddle tennis pregnant, exhausted with newborns, and as I raised four young children.  I was always my harshest critic.


The idea of choice did not enter my life until  I was around 43.  One day I was at the park with my youngest son Tyler, and  I was in the midst of making the decision to leave my marriage of 13 years.  The sun was shining and he was playing happily on the playground.  As I sat watching him I felt a calm and a peace that I had not felt before.  I was not driven to speak to the other moms, I wasn't reading a book or on the phone.  In the midst of my emotional storm, I was sitting and feeling the beauty of the moment.  That was the beginning of my new journey, my new path and the discovery of the new Kimberly.  It was the first day of a love affair... with myself.  I chose to find peace and be happy by just being me.


Every time I learn something new about Thomas Jefferson I am awestruck by his brilliance and enlightenment.  Think about it, when he wrote the Declaration of Independence life was a matter of survival.  The political upheaval that was going on as our country was being created was not exactly the most suitable environment for spiritual, evolved thinking.  Yet, Jefferson wrote:


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.


These words pretty much sum up the bulk of spiritual lessons on love, peace, happiness, free will and joy.  Now, the rest is in our hands...  We need to make a choice to pursue happiness.  


On the back of all my tags for my Fly line of clothing, www.choosetofly.com, I write, "When you come to the crossroad, may you choose love."  I believe there are two ways to live.  We can lead with aggression and anger, as I did for years, or we can lead with love and kindness.  It is a choice, then a habit, then, in time, it will become who we are.  


I also frequently use the same line and close with, "may you choose happiness".  Again, the foundation was laid years ago by our founding fathers.  Our right to happiness is documented.  That will not mandate joy, however.  We have to choose happiness make it a habit, and then in time it too will become who we are.  


I continue to find myself dropping the ball on occasion.  When I see malice or ignorance I often react quickly with judgement and aggression.  The difference is now I recognize what I've done and consider it yet another lesson on this wonderful journey to becoming the best I can be.  I will apologize and admit my wrongdoing because I have made the choice to no longer live my life as judgemental or unworthy, but as an evolving, aware, woman whom I happen to love very much. 


Do you know that feeling you have when you are doing what you are here to do?  When success comes easily without friction or obstacles?  In tennis we called it "being in the zone".  Well, I have come to equate that feeling with flying.  Watching birds soar and go where their hearts lead is why I named our clothing line "Fly".  Again, I make reference to choice when we named the website, www.choosetofly.com. 


The next time someone is unkind to you, smile and say something nice to them.  The next time the sun sets and the sky lights up in the most spectacular colors take a minute to  appreciate how it has brought you joy.   The decision to do this is yours.


All the tools needed to be the best we can be are inside us.  We are all worthy and deserving of amazing lives.  We have the talent, creativity, and potential to be who we dream of being.  Everything and anything is possible.  Close your eyes, see yourself living in love, happiness and... 

choose to fly.

xoxoxo